This is why I suck

Let's set up the scenario here:

Location: Weight Room at the Y
Time: Sunday, around 2:00 PM
Workout: Shoulders
Exercise: Upright row

So I'm chillin there, doing some upright row, when I notice this girl out of the corner of my eye. Completely my type physically, blonde hair, blue eyes, beautiful facial features, nice looking body, from what I could ascertain. I just notice this, and go back to my exercise. I finish, and I start over to the short bench to do seated overhead press, and I catch her looking a bit. Nothing really, and who knows what it could mean. So I'm resting in between my 2nd and third set of that, and we kinda make eye contact. I noticed before she had blue eyes. I notice now that they're really nice looking. So I continue my workout, finish up with that, go to do some lat raises on the machine, and then go to do front shoulder raises. I pass by her, and I look passively and notice she's glancing as well. So I do a couple sets, and strategically go to get water on the other side of the gym, so as to pass her. I look at her, she smiles at me, and I throw a bit of a grin her way. I'm smooth like that.

Later on, I'm about to walk out, and I notice her on the cardio machine, looking all exercisey. So I shoot her a look, get a smile in return, and walk out.

Fast forward to Monday. I see her in the gym again. It's back day, so I hit a few exercises up, and notice during my 2nd set of one-armed row that girl is there again. Another glance from me, and a kind of smile from her. At this point, I can tell there's interest there, but we must remember that I'm a bit intimidated by girls I don't know (coming back to the title of the thread "This is why I suck"). I don't go up and talk to her, and after one more such exchange, another guy is talking to her, and that's that for me.

Fast forward to today. Chest Day. She is there again. I am there again. There is one instance of eye contact. No smile. Sadness for me.

So now I'm all pissed about not talking to this girl. It would have been easy. Walk up to her and say hi...but no...I suck, and therefore a girl that may be interested in me thinks I probably have no interest back. Wasn't the case, but now seems so.

Why do I not approach a gorgeous girl that seems interested in me? I dunno, is it because I'm just not into that whole picking up girls at the gym thing? Is it because I don't want to interrupt my workout? Hell no. It's cause I keep thinking "the right time will be later." Guess not...so now, I didn't get to talk to cute blonde girl. And that's why I suck.

At least I got full workouts in :) Holla.

And I thought it couldn't be done again.

Yesterday (Saturday, June 4th) will be a day that I'll remember for the rest of my life.

Now those of you who regularly read my sparsely updated blog (assuming anyone does), or check my away messages from time to time know that I'm in full swing of Operation Ben Wallace. Basically, the goal of operation Ben Wallace is to improve my body both inside and outside through working out 6 times a week, which includes some combination of lifting weights, playing basketball, and riding on the stationary bike here at the house (typically around 7 miles or so). I've realized that I want to just get a little more muscular and have a little less fat on my body, and want to do it without any unnatural pills or anything like that. So since I've gotten home, I've played basketball, lifted, or biked for 21 days out of the 25 that I've been back. I'm already noticing results and feeling better and I have a lot more stamina. This is definitely a good thing. However, I like more tangible results as well. Yesterday was the most tangible result I'd seen not only over the summer, but possibly over the past 3 years.

Yes, on June 4th, in the middle of a pick-up basketball game, I dunked the basketball. Not just a normal dunk either, an alley-oop, an unintentional finish. We were on a 2 on 1 fast break, and my teammate threw the ball up in front of the basket. I jumped to catch it, and simply realized both my hands were at basket level. I caught the ball and threw it down, hung on the rim for a split second (pulling myself up a bit) and then dropped down. Everyone in the court was silent, except for a solitary "holy shit" from Chris, a 17 year old kid that's a baller on this AAU team here in Charlotte, shoots the lights out. Then everyone on the court just came up to me, the game stopped for a littl while. I felt weird, but very accomplished. I hadn't legitimately dunked a ball in 3 years. A smile cracked on my face, and I ran down to play defense. Our team ended up winning by a comfortable margin.

This event meant more than a lot of what I'd done in a long time physically. It showed me that I have a lot of athletic ability in me, and a lot of potential in me that I haven't tapped before. well I'm gonna tap that potential. I'm gonna be the best at what i do because I won't settle for less. I'm already motivated, this just gave me a lot more motivation. All because of one throwdown in an inconsequential basketball game.

Don't get me wrong, this won't involve any significant lifestyle change, like less drinking, well maybe a little less eating unhealthy, but it will involve me getting the best out of myself. And that's the thing I really needed. All because of one throwdown in a pickup basketball game...